Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Windy Path

Oh it’s December again. Please ignore but may I confess something : I’m down, exhausted and stressed. I often cry on my pillow, I feel so much alone and no one could understand me, I mis-communicate with people, argue and become emotional. I just don’t know to whom I can rely, or just tell what’s inside to a kind-hearted listener. And I hate the traffic jam downtown. Worst. Empty. I even posted emotional tweets that I have avoided so hard. I feel so…stuck with my life. No moving forward, idling. I’m invisible, I’m just nothing. I’m at the edge of terrible black hole called giving-up. Both in working and personal life. My dreams, my goals seem fading away. I’m too tired too old to start all over again. Failure is a word I scared of and now I’m inside it walking without guidance.  Sometimes I can’t bear the hurt.

The One and Only I can hope to, pray to, telling all the sadness inside is Allah SWT, the Almighty. I keep my conciseness by remembering Him, His affection to all His creation. I read few Qur’an verses mentioning “patience” as all of us should notice : 

O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient (Al-Baqarah:153)

Nay, seek (Allah’s) help with patient perseverance and prayer: it is indeed hard, except to those who bring a lowly spirit,  (Al-Baqarah:45)

Not so do those who show patience and constancy, and work righteousness; for them is forgiveness (of sins) and a great reward.”  (Hud 11)

I believe. So, it’s ok to cry. It’s ok to feel sad. It’s ok that life gets tough. It’s ok to ask for help. But it is not ok to give-up. It’s a matter of dealing with ourselves managing life problems and failures. Allah SWT has always something wonderful. Just remember the reward and keep trying, keep the faith, resigned to Him eventually all things get better. Insya Allah…

There is no reason that I’m not grateful for what everything Allah has given me. I am so grateful that I have parents, a house I can live in, health, oxygen I breath, a comfy bed, a job, friends, food, water, and thousands more. 

Fafirru Ilallah… run back to Allah…

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